Funny words beginning with P

'Pack it in soft,bag n' all' - 'You might as well do it'

P.A.B or P'ABE - A person who acts tough but is actually softer than a fabric softner sheet, originally meant Pakki Acting Black (i.e someone who is not hard, acting hard)

P.H.A.T - (sounds like fat) Means Pretty Hot And Tempting

P.I.C.N.I.C. - Computer tech talk - "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer"

P.O.N.T.I.A.C. - Poor Old N***a Thinks It's A Cadilac

p.o.o.t.f. - person or object to f*ck

Paddy Wack - Nerd, Loser

Pajama time - Sex time

PAL - Personal Arse Licker

Palminia and her five friends - Masturbation

Paltry - Rubbish, crap, pathetic

Pancakes - The flappy bits that hang out of fat chicks' clothes when they're too tight

Pantene crisis - Unbelievably bad hair (eg backcombed, hairsprayed hair after 2 nights of clubbing without a wash in between) that would need copious amounts of Pantene to rectify!

Pants - Absolutely rubbish

Paper bag job - A girl who has a hot body, but unfortunatly an ugly face

Paperwork - Issues

Parched - When someone hasn't had sex in a long time and their down area is dry

Part - A pussy fart!

Partooschkey - Big butt

Party Pickle - A dick ready for action. A party treat for the ladies. Created in OKLAHOMA

Party Supplies - My mom and I's codeword for tampons

Party-foul - when you spill your beer, cause drama, act retarded ect. and disrupt the party...... you have commited a PARTY FOUL!!!

Pat - What you call someone who seems to be a hermaphrodite. You cannot tell if this person is male or female, so just call them Pat (Patrick or Patricia?).

Patowed - To get totally hammered this weekend

PC Piglett - Someone who is horny

Peacanboddieluse - A very hot girl

Peach - "An even fairier version of a fruit (see "Fruit"). As in, "Hes so fruity hes a peach!"

Peach - Something that is nice

Peach - Nice bum. As in "she's got a peach"

Peach Yogurt - When asked what boogers taste like, my cousin answered "peach yogurt"

Pear drops - When you go to the toilet and you think you've had a really big shit but when you look there is only a few droplets floating

Pear Necklace - When a guy gets off on your neck

PearHead - A name for a peron with a pear shaped head

Pearl - A substitue to "girl", when you don't want anyone to know what you are talking about

Peck & Decker - An extremely small penis, not fit for sexual intercourse

Pecksniffian - Hypocritical person

Pedestroid - A pedestrain

Pee-wee herman - Said when you need to go to the toilet

Peel/Peeled - Someone or thing is stupid

Pencil - Penis

Pendeja - It means "stupid" or "motherf**ker" in Spanish

Penearse - When you hate someone so much you can't decide whether they are a penis or an arse :- "You are such a penearse"

Peng - It means to be sexy!

Peng - Strong/good - usually for describing weed

Penis bob - An ugly Guy with a very attractive female, it could also be used as a substitute for douchebag.

Penis Leash - A very off-the-wall insult to an annoying person, and also a sex toy.

Pennis - Penis tennis - Gay intercourse.

Perd - Nothing, Everything. Usually to define an individual, can be used as a substitute for any word. E.g "James is a Perd who likes to perd himself"

Peri Peri - As in "Here boy" but "Here Peri Peri"

Perogie - I worked at a restaurant and when a hot girl/guy in we would shout "Perogie"

Persian shower - When you cant be arsed to take a wash or dont have the time, so you just cover yourself with deodorant

Pete Tong - "When things dont go to plan..."it all went a bit pete tong"

Pew - A wooden bench in a church (at more than 50, the name still makes me smile. Yeah like you don't too)

Phantasmagorical - fantastic/surreal.......

Pheasant - A really annoying person that belongs in a birdcage

Pheeeu - "Should be accompanied with a throwing of your arms into the air in a "i dont give a shit" kinda movement when you just cant be bothered anymore like when you're having an arguement and the other person is wrong but just wont give in."

Pheeeu - "Should be accompanied with a throwing of your arms into the air in a "i dont give a shit" kinda movement when you just cant be bothered anymore like when you're having an argument and the other person is wrong but just wont give in say pheeeu and walk out"

Phlanarfulflunk - A skateboarder that is the best in your town

Phoner - When you get a phone call and get turned on.

phugus - Absolutely anything, usually something unpleasant i.e 'I Got Phugus On My Hands!'

PI-KAAH! - A random word you say to break an awkward silence. almost like the sound a crow makes....

Picasso Arse - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Pickle (Pickle dick) - One with a small penis

Pickle-snoat - Jaw-dropping impressed/amazed [usually used when having sex]

Pickleweasel - Getting your dick caught in the zipper of your pants

Piddley diddley department - The bathroom

Piddley-Diddley department - When you need a wee and are a bit drunk...

Piddly - A worthless individual [Context: As it's a noun, feel free to use the phrase "She's a piddly". It's also known to be the opposite of Monster

Pifkin - To have left over toilet paper stuck in your ass crack

Pig Dog - Really ugly chick who looks like a pig and is a total dog!

Pigga - An asian nigga

Pigleting - "To have a really lazy day e.g. "I can't be bothered today...I'm pigleting"

Pikeing - Stealing

Pikey - Someone who has money but wont spend it coz they are tight!

Pikey - Townies that form large packs around McDonalds. Attire: Ben Sheman shoes, Kappa & FCUK gear, burberry cap, smoking B&H

Pikey - Someone who doesn't have any money, steals it from other people and yet still can't work out why he looks like a Pikey wearing his Reebox Classics, Trackie, Baseball cap in the air with optional Trackie hood to cover.

Pilfamilkascrim - I'm so horny, ie *I am so pilfamilkascrim*

Pillow Biter - Homosexual

Pillow-Biter - A gay man

Piltch - Fish (Calling someone a fish)

Piltchy - Fishes (Calling more than 1 person a Piltch AKA Fish)

Pimmel - Penis

Pimms o'clock - Time to get wasted

Pimptastic - Being pimp to the highest extent.

Pimptress - The female version of a pimp

Pinch a Loaf - Means to take a sh*t.

Pinglish Conversations - Sex

Pink Taco - A vagina

Pinked - When you touch the ball over an on-rushing 'keeper in football, you 'Pink' it.

Pinksy - Peeing

Pinney - Cheap

Pino - Love

Piparoo - Dumbass, socially unacceptable person.

Pipes and Stripes - Male strippers that are either acting as plumbers or convicts

Pirate Hook - Curved dick from excessive jacking-off

Pisshiver - That involuntary shudder a man experiences after a long, satisfying beer piss

Pissification - To piss on something, hence pissify it

Pissitivity - Tension in the room; eg: "the level of pissitivity in the meeting was high."

Pisspoor - Very bad job

Pisspumpkin - A watermelon

Pissy Missy - A person who is whining

Pit Stop - Your regular check of arm pit smell.

Pita Potta - A homosexual

Pith - To kill by cutting the spinal cord. One of many definitions.

Pity Platter - Giving to those who are feeling sorry for themselves.

Plank - Someone that is thick or stupid

Plasmatic - Completely awesome; like if something or someone is extremely hot.

Plastic - Someone or something that is really cool!

Plastic - A stuck up perfect preppy hot girl

Platypus - Someone who looks like a bunch of different animals put together in human form

Playstation claw - This is where you play games for a long perod of time and your hand returns to the shape of the controller when relaxed

Pleb - A posh townie (chav)

Pleb - A compleate idiot

Pleb - Someone with out a degree

Plebdazzle - Something that Plebs like, such as football, the lottery, reality television, and drunken fighting.

Pliggle - To describe anything painful that you are about to do, have done or are doing.

Plob - A pleb who denies it

Plonker - A dickhead/idiot/erm...just an insult if somebody has done something really, really stupid. Like dancing to 'Barbie Girl'. Oooh, you fool.

Ploops - Poo crums left on the toilet seat.

Plumper - A fat person

Plumpkin - A really cute chubby girl, not fat, just chubby.

Plumsy - An insult. ie "oh shut up ya plumsy". Also referred to as a girls private part!

Plunger - When you add more force to whaking off when you can't cum

Plural - To be said if you cant be bothered stickin the V sign up at someone or if it to someone like a lecturer/parent etc

Plush - Nice way for a guy to call a girl fat without upseting any nearby females.

Plut - Sluts that work in Pizza Hut

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis - A lung disease (doctors make things so complicated!)

Pocket hole - When someone makes a hole in their pocket so they can feel their genitals!

Poindexter - A nerd

Pointy - Piss Off I'm Not Telling You. ie When you're with your family and someone askes you who you are going out with just say "Pointy!"

Poisondwarf - Someone little who is real annoying

Poke-e-Man - A homosexual

Pol - Pal, but better, and you must emphasise the P and rise your tone as you say it or you have said it wrong

Pompus Ferrell - Somebody that is pompus and a ferrell

Pontafix - Farting in the shower and following through.

Pontiac - Poor Old Nigger Thought It's A Cadillac

Pony - Utter crap!

Poo-glue - Residue that remains in your pants no matter how many times you wash them

Poodle-socket - Car glove box

Pookie - Peace

Pookie - Cutie

Poon - To make sexual advances towards, or more explicitly to sleep with, anyone. From "Poontang"

Poon - Guys use it to say hot chicks

Poon - Everyone is wrong. Poon is a noun and it is an insult to a person who is an idiot.

Poon - Vagina

Poonami - An explosive crap that requires a shower and maid service.

Poonami - Explosive and watery diarrhea as opposed to Poon-ami (n) An extremely heavy menstrual flow. This would make it a synonym.

Poonami - A really heavy menstrual flow.

Poonani - A stupid Person

Poonani - Female Portion (in england)

Poontang - Female sexual organs, generally used in reference to sex

Poontang - Slang for vagina, or sex

Poooopeeeeeeeschlong! - A bad experience

Poop-aloop-Aquak-alaka - "It's gone"

Poopa-loops - Cherrios in your poop

Poopen-Stroopen - Your backside

Pooper Scooper Deluxe - A exclamation that either describes pain, frustration, aggravation, or an insult

Pooperstroodle - A poop that looks like a stroodle

Poopish - Boring, not feeling well, not good

Poot - Farting when you have to shit

Pooter - You know when you're trying to take a poo and nothing comes out but a fart? That's a pooter!

Pootie - Someone who changes their mind constantly, also used as another term for poser

Pop a Squat - It means you have to pee (i have to pop a squat)

Pop a jimmy - To get a boner

Pop it off - A word with various meanings, mainly to get a duty done. (i.e. boning, drinking, or toking)

Pop out the Machine Gun - When you have 20 small farts in a row

Pop-corn fart - Someone who is an extreme idiot/dork/loser

Poppin Jay - Technically it's a conceited person. but we just say it whenever. :D

Pork with Beans Roll - A fat person who farts a lot.

Porky Cheese - Portugal

Porn buddy - A pact you make with friend so that in the unfortunate event of your death he will clear out all of your porn stash to lessen the anguish of your poor parents

Posh Wank - Wanking with a condom on

Pot nob - A misfortunate guy who got his genitalia caught in a bike chain, riped off, then forced to wear a ceramic phallus

Potato - A person with a weird shaped body

Pour me some love - Showing love/ Giving love!!!

Praying to the Porcelain God - To puke

Preggo - A guy who thinks he has muscles

Preggo - A pregnant lady

Pretarted - The stage before your retarted

Prettifulous - Being overly pretty, beautiful, and gorgeous

Pretty boys - Lads who have nice cars and no that they are good looking! How vain! Normally have a bee-atch in the passenger seat.

Pretty Tatties Mr Fish - A Cornish expression of delight, meaning something is excellent

Prettyful - Someone/something who/that is both pretty and boodiful

Pretzel - A twisted penis

Price Check! - When you see a really hot girl you say this or you can say this just for fun

Prickle Dick - A general insult to somebody who is being an asshole.

Prisser - a p*ssy..like a guy that gets married when you think hes hot and you wanted him or something like tom delonge from blink 182 hes a prisser!!!

Problemette - A minor problem

Procrastibating - Masturbating to delay something you should be doing at a later time

Procrastibating - To masterbate out of boredom, or to avoid work.

Proggy - Old persons way of saying burnout

Proper Bo - Well Good

Proper Job - It's a cornish expression which means that everything is going well. eg "How's it going pal?" "Proper job". Must be done in a cornish accent (no piss takers plz)

Prostatutative - A male prostatute

Prostitot - A prostitute under the age of 15

Protecter Against Evil - A condom

Psshhh! - Used to end conversation you don't want or to shut someone up. More effective when you used the talk to the hand movement

Psycopathyvaginism - Use when someone is acting weird as to say.... "You need to go to a psycopathyvaginism doctor"

Pubeup - Placing a pube on every sleeping person at a party

Pud Douchler - The highest level of gayness and fagishness

Pudd - Fart

Puddification - What happens to pudding when you put it in the fridge and it thickens

Pude - n, abbr: Abbreviation of Pudenda, or a lady's Snatch.

Pudge - Penetration without completing the task

Pug fugly - So ugly it burns!

puketastic - So good it makes u wanna puke all over

Pull - To get off with someone who is not your girlfriend, and has not been preorganised

Pull a Mikey - Tell on someone

Pull A Ringo - Make a right, the opposite of "Hang A Louie"

Pulling a Papas - When you do something stupid you say "Hey he just pulled a papa's!"

Punani - Pussy/vagina

Punannywambow - The act of eating pun-tang

Punch Dat Ho - When you go up for a dunk in basketball, your friend says "Punch that ho". That means dunk it really hard.

pundril - a person or animal thats really cute

Punga Punga - Pretty

Punk Ass - Something that is very cool and punk.

Punk Cock - A Penis that Is Pierced

Pure - Like the actual meaning of pure, it means when something is REALLY something, but the adjective is implied (eg: 'austin powers is so pure', meaning austin powers is really 60's)

Purple headed warrior - A penis

Purple headed womb ferret - A penis

Purple Headed Woom Broom - Similar to joy stick

Put the rocket in the socket - To have sex

Puta - "Whore" in portuguese

Puttsy - "A "proper" name for fart"

PWAPS - Perky tits

Pwn - Own to the fullest extent of of all humanly possibilitiness

Pwnagizer [bunny] - Pwner that keeps going & going & going

Pwnology - The science of pwnage