Select Category:

Show me a Random Funny Joke

Hilarious Jokes...

Like the funny pictures section, how could this be a proper humour site without a huge database of jokes? It couldn't, so here's a huge database of jokes...

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before the angel to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in.

The angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it. The angel says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged. "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She performs a rude act of hygiene and she gets in. Can you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal flush beats two of a kind.

View the next joke View the previous funny picture
 
Want to download the latest music from just 5 cents a track? Click here to find out how!
Can you guess the starting 11 of classic football matches?
Follow us on Follow BoredAtUni on Twitter